hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
