are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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