I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
