she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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