So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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