let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
