He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
