ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have fence marks all over my body
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
