omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the raccoons are back...
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