I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
