dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
