You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
