Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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