im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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