it hurts more in the daytime
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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