Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
