I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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