ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
