I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
