You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
