it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
