if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
