dude i'm inner monologue high
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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