You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
