okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
