Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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