Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
