why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
