so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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