TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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