And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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