she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
