it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Randomize
