Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
no you cant smoke seaweed
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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