Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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