if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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