Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
