and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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