watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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