The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
