dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
