Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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