so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
