her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
