she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
