If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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