So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
