I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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