No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
