just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize