And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This toilet bowl is my home.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
