She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
