yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
