Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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