I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
