all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
