I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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