I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
