It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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