Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
