He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
