That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
