I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
