K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just googled if crying burns calories
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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