I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
