I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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