shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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