That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
