her vagina looked like bernie madoff
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize