i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
