My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
