they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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