guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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